Not such a good day

I bought several pregnancy tests yesterday so that I could give in to my "OMG I've GOT to POAS" obsession.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning (on my day off!!) because I had to pee so badly!  And I took a pregnancy test.  Negative.  I know I'm only 9 dpo, but still!  I was hoping to see a tiny faint positive.  *cry*

I went back to sleep because I could!  And when I woke back up almost all of my symptoms are GONE!!!

I have been having MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR pregnancy symptoms.  And now they're all gone!  What the hell is going on?

My back still hurts a little bit and I'm still a little bit bloated (but way less than I was).  The sides of my breasts still hurt.  But that is IT!  No headache, no fatigue.  Nothing.  And yesterday my cramps, headache, and backache were way worse than they've been to date.

Needless to day, I'm all "yeah, not pregnant this cycle.  Just my stupid mind playing tricks on me."  Even though I know it's still too early to tell.  I may not have even implanted yet.  And without implantation there is no hcg.

*shrug*  I just don't know.  And the freakin wait is killing me.


However,

I did another Tarot Reading just for kicks.

Deck: The Llewellyn Tarot
Spread: Hexefus Spread

Question:  Am I still pregnant even though my symptoms have disappeared?

Strength

In the Root position
This card represents the root of the matter; what has gone before, and is directly related to the current situation. Check to see how the energies of this card blend with the other six cards; remember that it moves with each mystery in a different way.

Meaning: Courage. The determination to overcome obstacles. Inner strength. Spiritual strength. Consistent effort. Conviction. Having the strength to persevere. Being able to withstand naysayers and judgments of others and not be deterred. Facing one's fears. Being true. Harnessing passions that threaten to overwhelm but may be tamed with compassion and the will to overcome. Faith. Vitality. Ability to endure failures, losses, and disappointment, and yet keep the faith. Tenacity. Energy and intelligence. Work. Activity. Integrity. Focus and discipline. Overcoming. Outlasting competition or conditions. Reason and passion unite to bring strength. 

Nine of Pentacles

In the Magick position
Here are indicated the energies of the second mystery of magick in the life of the querent. This card shows how we use our gifts, talents, skills, intuition, and psychism; and, in particular, how these gifts should or should not be used at this time. If the querent practices the occult sciences, some indication of that may be found here, if it bears relevance on the question posed.

Meaning: Prudence. Assessment. Tallying. Successful handling of a multifaceted venture. Having speculated and been proven right. Planning and diplomacy. Care in choosing friends and confidants. Compassion, patience, and effort to understand others. Foresight and honourable behavior. Popularity. 

Two of Cups

In the Oath position
This card brings forth the energies of the third mystery of one's oath in the life of the querent; showing what the querent, up to this point, has dedicated his or her life to, what his or her principles are, and how he or she operates according to those values. It may show you what is most important to the querent at this time.

Meaning: Romance, love, attraction of opposites. Union. Magnetism. Dance of courtship. Entwining energies. Sparks. The flow and grace of a natural match. Forming emotional bonds. Sharing, stability in give and take. Balanced ebb and flow of emotions. Curiosity, affection, and excitement. Most often symbolizes a romantic partnership, but may refer to a friendship or alliance with an emotional component and compatibility of a kindred polarity. Engagement or marriage. 

Ten of Wands

In the Karma position
The effects of the fourth mystery of karma or Wyrd in the life of the querent are apparent in this card. It can tell you if the person is working toward good karma, or not so good. Physical birth or death, both of issues and people, may fall here, depending on the question. Indications of past and present actions can assist you in answering the question posed. Financial and mental stability are also reflected in this card.

Meaning: Burden. Rising to a challenge. Not flinching in the face of hard work. Pressure. Effort and time. Asserting oneself. Oppression followed by gain. Sustaining others. Carrying one's weight and more. Saving for a home. Budget restrictions. Perseverance. Suppressing one's needs to accomplish a demanding task. 

The Hanged Man

In the Wisdom position
This card indicates the fifth mystery of wisdom, power, and lineage in the life of the querent. Here you will be able to discover whether or not the querent has used wise counsel, directs his or her power wisely, and how he or she is responding to his or her life's plan. The card can also tell you from what source the querent should draw to assist in the issue at hand.

Meaning: Restraint. Suspension. Stalemate. Atonement. Not being able to make one's influence felt. Being held at a disadvantage. The dull pain born of constraint. Being caught in a web. A freeze on life. Detachment and isolation. Impotence and chastisement. Can mean a punishment, as in the law of retaliation applying to the traitor. Such suspensions can follow betraying one's self in doing or allowing something in one's life that was known to be wrong. Feeling marginalized, which can be a form of protection. Redemption. The silence of constraint brings deeper self-knowledge and sharpens the intuitive senses as a blind man "sees". Tapping a deep root. Uncommon knowledge. A life pared down to the basics. A time of gestation in a borderland state between chapters in life. Self-sacrifice in pursuit of knowledge or a cause. Energy drain. Delays and suspension of plans. A wise temporary surrender. Endurance. Insight. Being still in order to learn the secret to freeing one's self. 

Ace of Wands

In the Outcome position
The final card shows overall advice and counsel on the question asked.

Meaning: Inspiration. Rising to a challenge. Breakthrough in thinking. Self-reliance, spiritual strength, and confidence. Conviction and faith in vision or path. Reason reigning over impulse. Ideas empowered by desire. Creative heights and achievement. Quick thinking, humour, and balance. Revelations and transcendent thoughts. Fruitful plans and far-reaching ideas. Empathy and understanding. Marriage and fertility. 






Favorable tarot in response to my question.  Even with the negative test.  Must keep faith.  Must have just been too early to test.


We'll see.  I will more than likely test tomorrow.  It being the Summer Solstice and all!